I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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