She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
