called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
