how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
