After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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