Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
