How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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