dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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