I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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