So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
