Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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