Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
