You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
