You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
