Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
