My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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