The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
