Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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