And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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