3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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