you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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