ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
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