There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.