i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
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But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?