I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal