Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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