Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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