i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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