I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.