I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
