a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
