she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
