at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
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I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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