i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
