Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
