She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
