somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize