is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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