why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
