your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize