no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
