Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
