I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
