Don't you send me to vm
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
