whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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