Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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