Don't EVER smell your tampon
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
