The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
