i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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