id be glad to
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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