the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
