He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
