My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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