the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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