please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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