remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
