This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
