Is it because I queefed?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
