I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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