I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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